Merry Xmas!

So, you don't have to watch the above, as it might not make sense unless you were involved in the many ridiculous inside jokes of family thanksgiving, but basically the idea was to make a fake video for the family members who weren't coming to our Christmas in NJ, where everyone seems to THINK they're coming, but gets upset when s/he learns they're not. Here are a few notes to help get you through (it's not really that long, there are end credits & bloopers & whatnot).

Maria: I'm the first person on the video, and I usually make insane craft projects, such as the Turkey Making Contest for Thanksgiving. My Aunt Mer, who isn't coming for xmas, usually heads up making Advent Calendar templates at Tday. Andy, my uncle who isn't coming, and I usually review dictionary.com's Words of the Day.

Lena: My cousin, who likes to make videos with Finn (Finn is another cousin who is not coming to xmas).

Christian: My cousin's (Ana Lise) learn-ed boyfriend, who at Thanksgiving was often up in his room studying.

Elena: A clean freak! She references Joe & Sam, also cousins. Joe and Lena were partners for the Turkey Making Contest & won with a Sarah Palin Turkey.

Grandpa: Chocolate freak!

Peter: My uncle, always reading the newspaper or a book. Peter & I used Joe (my brother) & Sarah's (his wife) dog Bear for our Turkey Making Contest. They have another dog, Hope, who is a white puffball.

Ana Lise: My cousin, who references The Mole Story, which my brother Joe & Aunt Mer (Mary Ann) retold in about 5 different ways at Thanksgiving. And Cachinnator (sp?) was one Word of the Day that explained Mary Ann's laughter very well!

Too confusing? Yeah. Oh well!

Merry Xmas!

A New Vlog!

I haven't done a vlog in a few *months* now, so I thought I'd do one to celebrate the completion of my grad school applications. Oh my goodness, was that a lot of work! I worked straight through Saturday & Sunday & until several 3ams. I got them out about a month early. I am sometimes paranoid. I just want time for missing materials to get processed. But I did procrastinate a lot and work RIGHT UP until my made-up deadline.

I want some snacks & I want to watch Love Actually. If I can get my shit together, this is the plan. Actually, what I really want is orange juice. Like, desperately. I think my body is trying to tell me to eat some fruit.

That took me 12 minutes to write?

I've just been informed that my 13 year old journal entries are fun to read. So here is another. (I must have been a joyous child.)

February 24, 1998 9:44 PM Tuesday

Hi. If life was more boring I'd probably jump off a cliff -- at least it would be something exciting. [In the margins I drew a picture of a crutch with the caption "Crutches look like fun."] I want to do something so fun that I just can't wait to get there. I've tried: soccer, musical, basketball, flute, clarinet, piano, chorus, karate.

I HATE SCHOOL!!!

-- 9:56

greasy

i am plowing through my apps. plow plow. slow slow.

it is picking up a bit, but i look like shit. i showered this morning, but didn't wash my hair, so i look greasy. i really want to wash it, but if i go swimming tomorrow then it will get wet there and it would be a waste to wash it twice. my shoulder hurts and i have a heat pack on it. i think i want to start watching WEEDS. this year i have enjoyed new shows on netflix (new to me) such as THE OFFICE and 30 ROCK and MAD MEN.

back to work.

true story

so i thought i had run out of the little tubs of i-can't-believe-it's-not-butter that were lying around the house, but then i opened up the cabinet to get some tea and, behold!, there it was! and what did i say but "*gasp* i can't believe it's not butter!" with such joy that i should've been on a tv commercial. and then i just finished a piece of toast with great joy.

Polaroid

Parties look so cool when converted to Polaroid. EVERYTHING looks cooler in Polaroid. I FEEL cooler in Polaroid.

swimmy fishy

So, I've been going to the gym everyday. I went five miles on the elliptical yesterday (that is a great machine!) and swam today, only 21 laps, but I just learned how to swim a week ago. It's still hard to breathe while doing freestyle/the crawl. I think it's because of my kicking. I think I have the arms right now. The men at the pool are very nice and helpful and have helped me learn how to swim because the first day I did the breast stroke for an hour, and then someone asked if I knew how to do anything else, and I said no. I feel like a million bucks at the pool — which really is amazing because I'm not only wearing a swim suit (well, two... I have this fear of breaking straps), but also a swim cap (requirement) and goggles. I actually don't look the most ridiculous some people have little flipper hands that they bring or other assistive devices.

Anyway, there are mostly old asian ladies there in the middle of the day, and then guys who life guard are about my age, or maybe a little older?, and are of the only race that is ever attracted to me at all (I think only 2 white guys have ever hit on me), so I think that's why I don't feel nervous going there. I used to never wear swimsuits in public places (so, never). If this pool were in Long Island, I'm sure I'd feel self-conscious, but Queens isn't so uptight, I don't think.

Anyway, exercise takes up my entire morning. I HAVE to finish my applications this week, but it is much more fun to do anything else. Yesterday I wrapped xmas gifts and watched a documentary on Eleanor Roosevelt. I might've also worked on a poem a little bit. I'm writing a poem, and the ending is bothering me so I keep changing it.

I have been looking at my finances and it is a bit scary. I am trying to finagle a way to have my regular payments reduced by a check or two (defer loans?) because there is hardly enough money to get food and gas to go to the gym. Right now I eat a lot of toast and cheese, but today I ran out of: bread, milk, jam, and the fake butter I use. The gym is $75 A YEAR. I probably mentioned that already, but that is an amazing deal.

omg, i heart colbert & conan (colbert is on conan now). let me marry one of them. please. i would additionally marry jon stewart. i would marry colbert most.

more journaling nostalgia

This one journal is hysterical. I know I have mentioned this before, but I went back and read pretty much the whole thing. I want to do some kind of project with it. Scan in the pages. Read it to youtube. Something. The front cover says "One Year Diary" on the front but it runs, quite on and off, from 1990 (age 6) to 1997 (age 13). Apparently, I was not as a prolific writer as I now imagine I was in youth. (Though I do remember quite vividly making up stories of my life as I went along. For several years I pretended I was on a cross country trek, from California to NJ, to get back home to my parents because I had to be sent off to work to make money for the family. I often pretended I had to sleep out in the cold or sat on the rope swing and made up stories about how I got on my way.)

Unfortunately, the journaling picks up at age 13 in other notebooks. I incessantly wrote about a crush I had, first on one boy, then another. God, it's ridiculous! I hope I never sounded like I do in those teenage journals. I have an entire box of journals from my teenage years. I also get all depressed and dramatic and talk more about general ideas, thoughts, and feelings with no specific detail. I was much more detailed as a younger child. My college journals are also boring, as they contain mostly lists. Now, at least, I have a separate journal for journaling (which I don't write in too much, considering all the emailing and blogging I do) and another one for lists, since I seem to write about five lists a week.

Anyway, all day I have been sending people little excerpts from my journal that are about them, like to my brother and my childhood friends. I have also discovered that my list-making obsession started at a VERY early age. My first journal entry is from December 1990 when I forced my mom to help me list allllll of the things I got for xmas that year. I make several other lists in the journal, including a 1995 list/table on which the horizontal rows say "Price" "What" and "Other Stuff" and the vertical rows say "Mom" "Dad" "Joe" and details info about what I bought them for xmas in each box. I also liked to list what my school schedule looked like with exact times. Or, random lists that weren't helpful at all:

June 6/9/97 Monday
Hey, schools almost out just two more weeks.
I'm mad - for many reasons, I'll list some.
1. Need to clean room
2. Need to take 2 Final Exams in health
3. More Stuff

In 1994 I drew a picture of OJ Simpson holding a knife and it says "OJ Simpson says he didn't kill his wife. Yey right!" I also titled many of my entries. For example:

Apartment
Thurs. 8th Dec 1994
[bad doodle of an apartment]
I am busy can't finish now have to put up christmas lights in room.

And, then, of course, I poured my heart out (also, I could never spell):

I don't want to!
8.24.95
Sorry I haven't written. My wrighting may be a tad bit sloppy (I'm rightting with an aligatr-pen). My grand parents are here and my mom wants me to go to this museum with my grandpa but I don't want to go so we got in a fight (Me and my mom) And I might say sorry but then again maby not because then she might think she can take advatige of me (because I'm ushly under standing) I'm crying a little. Well bye! bye!

Sigh. Okay. 2:14 in the morning. I set my alarm for 8:30 so I can go to the gym, but I know I'm going to want to hit snooze.

age 13

January 3, 1998
My life should be like this: I act during the day a lot and have a tutor for a little bit. I also am allowed to go to the nearby zoo and help take care of baby animals. I have a swimming pool + I visit Cape Cod and [my family] a lot. My room is big. I have neighbor-best-friend-person who I can say anything to

January 26, 1998
My fantasy: When I grow-up. I live in the Hotel Beacon in NYC in the winter. In Spring + Summer I live near a zoo and take care baby animals (with husband + children) and in the fall I go on vacation and visit my parents a lot.

From the Archives

Journal entry apparently from the day our family got the internet in our house, the day after xmas in 1998 when I had just turned 14. Journal entries full of awkward relationships with people who only existed on the internet ensue.

Anyway, so here it is, a log of the very first thing I did on the internet at home. (Also, how come I knew ghetto internet speak before I even used the internet? Must have been at a friend's house?)


12/26/98 Saturday

We just got the internet. I went to www.Yahoo.Com. I made a chat room entitled Girlz AND Boyz. Once 2 or 3 people were in there I said "f/m" (asking if they were male or female). Some guy said "I love you" and then said "You Love me?" I said - "No, you idiot," he left.

macaroni

I am trying to learn the art of patience by letting my macaroni in the hot water for the full 10 minutes instead of taking it out early and eating it when it's still half hard. I even took out a strainer so I can pour the macaroni in there to get all of the water out, instead of just awkwardly cracking the lid over the pot and letting the water seep out slowly, along with a number of macaroni which I then need to fish from the drain. Additionally, I mixed the milk and cheese powder in a separate bowl and used a measuring cup, instead of just randomly pouring milk and and cheese powder over my hard, wet noodles (twss?). Wow, I didn't even realize how badly I usually fuck it up.

Anyway, I got bored of waiting for the 10 minutes, so I thought I'd use this time to blog about it.

On an other note, I am learning how to swim, I read THE BELL JAR, and I now love THIRTY ROCK the tv show.